Can I handle this?

31 08 2007

This morning was a full circle morning. But let me start at the beginning…

For the past two days, Rura has had my car. He needed it to get to and from an interview for a job. Piss test pending, he’ll be working again soon. Because of this, he has been taking and picking up both me and SBJ for work and school. I also got to have lunch with him the past two days which is always fun. Last night, he had soccer practice and I really didn’t feel like waiting around till  7:30 so me and SBJ went home. Well first thing that went wrong is that he kept my debit card because he needed it to fill my tank. He didnt keep it on purpose and I forgot to take it back. So today, no food for me. I had to bring cup of noodles. Second thing that wasnt wrong at the time but in the end caused me STRESS was that he got called for a ride along last night after practice. This is all fine and well because we have a system in place that means that he will check in with me during the night so that I dont have to worry about his safety. Can you see where this is going??

I haven’t heard from him since 2:15 this morning. When he sent me a text that said he was in a pursuit on the freeway. I guess this didnt quite register in my brain at 2am but I responded and told him that was “cool” and to tell Officer G that “if he’s not first, he’s last”. Apparently I am retarded at 2:15 in the morning.

So yea. I tried calling and texting when I got up at 6:00 for work. Tried for the two hours until I got to work at 8:00. Imagine me completely bat shit crazy. I’ve called his cell, house, and sent so many text messages my fingers hurt. I decide then that I am going to just stop trying to get a hold of him.

I’m at the anger stage at this point. How dare he not call me? He KNOWS how nuts I get. He knows. He accepts my insanity and does what he can to stop it. AARRGH!!!! Freakin idiot, selfish prick, mother effing dick. Yea… I’m so bitchy when I am scared and angry. Plus I am PMSing. Ha. That shit sucks.

An hour and a half goes by. It’s 9:30 at this point and I am sick to my stomach. Literally sick. I’m running scenario’s in my head. “Should I leave work? Should I call the station? Should I call Officer G? Naw, he’s probably asleep. I think I’m Rura’s emergency contact, arent I? If something had happened, someone would have called me by now. Should I call his mom? Should I go to his house and bang on some windows? No I have his keys. Should I? Should I? What if I dont…?” Can you see me? Rocking back in forth in my chair? I’m insane. Find me the nearest padded room.

Ok a half hour of that craziness goes by. Its about 10:00. I get up, walk to the bathroom, and have an epiphany. “I bet that asshole is sleeping in his bed.” I remember that he hasn’t slept for 24 hours and that he is NOT a good candidate for that type of thing. Here’s scenario number two that is running in my head as I am actually sitting on the toilet at work. “I made him get up at 6:30, take me to work, SBJ to school. He went home and made ringtones for an hour, took a shower, got ready for his pee test, then came back to take me to lunch. We had lunch then he went to pee in a cup. He was there for two hours. Went back home for an hour, went to pick up SBJ, they messed around for an hour, came to pick me up. We went to his house and messed around, he went to practice. Got out at 7:30 and by 8:30, Officer G calls for the ride along. I bet Officer G dropped him off at home right as shift was ending, he went inside, took off his clothes, turned his fan on and literally fell into bed. And there he is.” Ok I’m better now because that HAS to be what happened. What. the. FUCK. is wrong with me? 

Seriously, I know that is exactly what happened. It’s about 12:00 now and I still haven’t heard from him but I will soon. The latest by 2:30 because his sisters will be home by  then and they will tell me he is comatose in bed. Then I get to guilt trip him when I get off work. So we all win.

This will happen every time he has a ride along. I can see it now.

Now please excuse me while I go eat my cup of noodles. Delicious!!!

Edit 12:54 – He just called. “I was sleeping babe!” He got home at 5:30am and did just what I said he would. I called him a jerk and he told me to relax myself. ♥

Not at all like a mommy…

29 08 2007

Thanks to CrystalSnow for the challenge!

 I’m not too proud of the “least mommy-like” thing that I have done this week. Every day being a mom comes the opportunity to not act like one. But usually we make our choices wisely and do the right thing for our kids. On Saturday, I chose not to.

Saturday was SBJ’s first soccer game of this season and also his opening ceremonies. I went to the game in the morning and that was fine. It was heating up quickly but by the time the game ended, it was starting to get hot. His team, The Sharks, lost their game 1-0. He had fun playing even with his dad singleing him out and screaming at him the entire game. (Dont get me started, DO. NOT.) He was supposed to go with me that day because we had a birthday party for my cousin (which includes swimming) and a football game that Rura was playing in that night. This would mean him missing the ceremony which parades all the teams around and hosts a collection of booths that all the teams have the option of setting up. At first he didn’t mind missing it, but somewhere along the line, he changed his mind.

He threw a fit to stay for the ceremony and psudeo-carnival. I really didn’t want to argue as the heat was getting to me and I was already feeling like I was running out of time to get where I needed to be. I was all set to let him stay with his dad when he dropped a bomb.

“Mom, why dont you want to stay for my ceremony?”

Every year he has played soccer (3 so far) I have walked with his team. How do you explain to your son that you dont want to stay for his ceremony because you cant stand the thought of being near his father for more than an hour? How do you justify that to a six year old? How do you justify it to yourself? Because to me, it sounds really selfish. Why cant we just put our differences aside for once and exist for our son? Here’s the thing. I can. The ex? Not so much. It will turn into a day of being guilt tripped and ridiculed and just no fun over all. So I chose to let him stay with his dad, and I went on my way.

It was so not “mommy-like” to do that. It was selfish. But when I asked SBJ the next day if he missed me, he said “No. It was boring anyways.” So there. I know I made the right choice because had I stayed, the day would not have been just “boring” but also hard because he would have had to endure his mom and dad bickering all day. And that is what I wanted to avoid.

There are more moms out there doing things that aren’t very “mommy-like”. Check them out here, here, here, here, and here. And guess what, they aren’t all naughty like me!

Sometimes it just happens

23 08 2007

2 years ago today, I met the love of my life. I remember he had both ears pierced, a shaved head, and he told me he worked at Del Taco. I asked if he could hook me up with a discount. Turns out, he didn’t really work for Del Taco and in a few weeks, he would take both his earrings out and the holes would close up. Turns out, in a few months, he would kiss me for the first time and completely turn my world upside down.

I remember talking to him and getting to know him. I remember how easily he made me laugh. I remember telling him that the girl he was interested in was an idiot because she couldnt see how lucky she was to have him want to be with her. Turns out, I would be the lucky one in the long run.

2 years ago today, I met the one who makes my heart smile. For the first time in a long time, I was able to be myself. I didn’t have to hide who I was. I was free to be fun, to laugh, to feel confident, and to love and be loved in return. He gave me something that I thought was gone forever. He gave me my life back.

Yesterday, the guy who means the world to me reminded me that today was the day that we met, two years ago. The simple fact alone that he remembered something that I didn’t, rocked my world. I never even knew that the day we met meant enough for him to even remember. I think I’ll keep this one. He has a pretty good memory.

Wow another first!

22 08 2007

OMG I feel so cool. First I meet internet celebs, and now this? (yes I’m a huge dork)

Guess what?! Ok I’ll say it! I’m guest posting today over at Hot and Bothered!!!!!!! As you can tell by the name, this one is NOT safe for the kiddies.

I love this blog because the women who post here are honest and open about sex. And why shouldn’t they be? Sex is awesome. If you aren’t doing it, I recommend you go! Close this window and GO GET LAID. Its fun, its a stress reliever, and its freakin fun!

I’m posting over there about sex on the sly, or in other words, how to get some when you have to move back home with your parents or even if you ever have to get some room mates. I had a lot of fun doing this, so PLEASE go check it out! While you are there, read some more entries! These women have great advise to give and some fun stories to share. When they asked for guest posters, I jumped at the chance! I just cant believe they let me! LOL

What are you still doing here?? Go check it out!!

driving me to drink

21 08 2007

I swear, the things that come out of this kids mouth crack me up. He is almost done with his first month of 1st grade and let me tell you, I have such a grown up in the house now. It seems like yesterday he was finishing up his first week of Kindergarten and now this? He hangs his book bag up on the hook and not on the Kinder table. He has to wait in a LONG lunch line, and not go to the front with the kinders. Shoot, as a 1st grader, he even gets a bigger playground! Movin on up…

After I picked him up from soccer practice he was telling me about his day. He is your typical 6 year old boy. Scraped knees and all. He started explaining that he scraped his knee open again today.

He says, “Mom look at my knee! I opened it up just a little again.” “Well how did you do that?” “I…” uncontrollable giggles start here… “I…hahaha” “I was playing…hehehe” “I was playing tetherball and” loud audible gasps are escaping from his body as he is trying his hardest to stop laughing. “And I stopped the ball… with my FACE!” Managing to get this out, he startes rolling with laughter. To a first grader, this is totally helarious. I asked him “well then how did you scrap your knee?” To which he replies, “I fell down BOOM! and landed on the blacktop. Thats how I scraped my knee. Cool huh?”

I think my eyes almost rolled out of my head. But it was pretty funny. I just cant incourage stopping a tetherball with his face quite yet. We’ll save that one for 2nd grade.

This title sucks

14 08 2007

So does this post. Jessie is sending me all this great traffic and I am posting total shit here. Please forgive me, anyone who is stopping by. I dont feel so hot. I really should not be at work, but I am here, pounding away at this keyboard.

Jessie has been sending me some of the pics she took and let me just say this: they are gorgeous. I always appreciate a good photo taken and these are up there. Yes of course we are adorable in them, but that isnt what makes them great. They got us. They captured who we are with those cameras. It’s easy to pose for a picture but these are different. These are the pictures that will be on the walls of my home years from now, framed and cherished by us and our family.

Thank you Jessie. Thank you David. Not getting knifed by one of you was just a perk in my book. Next time, its on my dime. (I rhymed! HAHA) By the way, in order for me to get Rura to loosen up a bit, I just told him that you two were the white versions of us. He rolled his eyes at me, but he understood. Oh yea, he did. And yes, we will be back. DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUN. Just kidding. About the DUN DUN, not us coming back.

Ok I’m going before I confuse anyone else. Cold medicine makes my head fuzzy.

Oh yea!

13 08 2007

Yesterday was F.U.N. Obviously I’m updating so Jessie and David did NOT chop us up in the very random, very far from the main road, hole in the wall park they sent us to.  Actually, it was a pretty nice place and we had fun taking pictures. They are a pretty good team. I can’t wait to see how they came out.

This has to be short and sweet. I am not feeling well and work is over in 4 minutes. I have stories about the weekend which include David stalking around in bushes and the conversation me and Rura had on our way up to the park.

Miss OUT!