Not at all like a mommy…

29 08 2007

Thanks to CrystalSnow for the challenge!

 I’m not too proud of the “least mommy-like” thing that I have done this week. Every day being a mom comes the opportunity to not act like one. But usually we make our choices wisely and do the right thing for our kids. On Saturday, I chose not to.

Saturday was SBJ’s first soccer game of this season and also his opening ceremonies. I went to the game in the morning and that was fine. It was heating up quickly but by the time the game ended, it was starting to get hot. His team, The Sharks, lost their game 1-0. He had fun playing even with his dad singleing him out and screaming at him the entire game. (Dont get me started, DO. NOT.) He was supposed to go with me that day because we had a birthday party for my cousin (which includes swimming) and a football game that Rura was playing in that night. This would mean him missing the ceremony which parades all the teams around and hosts a collection of booths that all the teams have the option of setting up. At first he didn’t mind missing it, but somewhere along the line, he changed his mind.

He threw a fit to stay for the ceremony and psudeo-carnival. I really didn’t want to argue as the heat was getting to me and I was already feeling like I was running out of time to get where I needed to be. I was all set to let him stay with his dad when he dropped a bomb.

“Mom, why dont you want to stay for my ceremony?”

Every year he has played soccer (3 so far) I have walked with his team. How do you explain to your son that you dont want to stay for his ceremony because you cant stand the thought of being near his father for more than an hour? How do you justify that to a six year old? How do you justify it to yourself? Because to me, it sounds really selfish. Why cant we just put our differences aside for once and exist for our son? Here’s the thing. I can. The ex? Not so much. It will turn into a day of being guilt tripped and ridiculed and just no fun over all. So I chose to let him stay with his dad, and I went on my way.

It was so not “mommy-like” to do that. It was selfish. But when I asked SBJ the next day if he missed me, he said “No. It was boring anyways.” So there. I know I made the right choice because had I stayed, the day would not have been just “boring” but also hard because he would have had to endure his mom and dad bickering all day. And that is what I wanted to avoid.

There are more moms out there doing things that aren’t very “mommy-like”. Check them out here, here, here, here, and here. And guess what, they aren’t all naughty like me!

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6 responses

29 08 2007
jessie

What? You took yourself out of a situation that might have ended with fighting in front of your kid is NOT the mommy thing to do? You might have been thinking of yourself, but we both know that deep down you were subconsciously avoiding a situation in front of your son. That speaks volumes on its own.

30 08 2007
rimarama

I agree with the previous comment. I think you did right by your son (whether he knows it or not) by not leaving yourself open to an unpleasant confrontation with his dad, which I’m sure he’s more likely to remember than the one time you didn’t attend the ceremony.

30 08 2007
Momrepus

That is the least un-mommy-like thing I’ve read in a long while.
1. Being selfish is fun and good for the soul (which you need to replenish–FOR THE KIDS *ahem*)
2. I must concur, even if it was for selfish reasons, it was a most unselfish act, or result, or whatever.
You’re an awesome mommy.

30 08 2007
Momrepus

Ooh! I love LOVE the pop-ups on your links! Wicked cool.

31 08 2007
Tere

I think not having you there was way better than having you there and bickering with the ex. He’ll come to realize that, too.

3 09 2007
Skiplovey

You are being a good Mom by preventing bad situations from happening. And your kid realizes that. He knows that you love him. He also knows that you and the Dad aren’t together. Taking yourself out of a potential scene is very mature and the right thing to do. Feel good about your decisions.

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