Wandering Eyes

6 09 2007

Yesterday, while we were getting gas, I thought I noticed Rura looking at a girl that had walked into the store. I wont say “checking out” because that isnt what he did. He glanced at her for a few seconds and looked away. As we were walking out, I jokingly told him, “I saw you looking at that girl!” and he told me that she looked familiar. I said “Suuurrree she does.” He rolled his eyes at me as I was laughing at him and that was it. I didn’t press the issue and he didn’t either. This happens to us about once every couple of months.

I was reading this article on MSN which is what prompted me to write this. I have gone through the whole spectrum of being a jealous girlfriend/wife. I did it. In the worst ways. I’ve done it with Rura when he worked at his old job. Oooh he hated it. I hated those skanky girls that worked with him and wore too much makeup. I hated going to his store and walking in to see him bagging for them (yup, he bagged your groceries and pushed your carts for awhile). I loathed seeing him even speak to these girls and smile at them or at something they said. That was MY smile and no slutty checker should even be SEEING it.

Whoa. Psycho much? Yea. The last time I really felt that was a few months back when I went to the resturaunt he worked at and saw the bartenders that he worked with. I felt that flash of jealousy but then I looked closer and realized how fugly they were. And then I thought about what a good relationship we have and how many trust issues we have worked through. And I decided not to mention those bartenders to him. (Although I may have just once for one second while we were arguing. Just once. And I didnt push it.) He does the jealousy thing once in awhile. But it goes away just as quickly as it comes. I usually make a joke out of his comment and he laughs at me and its over.

I guess I’m just wondering how other people deal with these types of things. I know for me, its taken me a long time to get to a place where I feel comfortable in a relationship. I have a lot of trust in Rura and yes, I do have times where I dont show it. But so does he. Who doesn’t in a committed relationship? I highly doubt that there are any couples out there that dont go through a moment or two or 50 of mistrust and doubt in each other. No one is perfect. How do you work through it (if you can)?

This is my way of confirming that I’m not the only person out there with control and jealousy issues? Because really? Have you seen my man? Dayum. He’s a hottie. Goggles on a man turn me on. Especially when he can handle those HUGE thighs wrapped around his head. *cough*




3 responses

6 09 2007

Prepare to throw your tomatoes but I trust David completely. David trusts me completely. As Ive said before, I think its a waste of time to be jealous, furthermore a waste of time to be with a person who makes you jealous. Granted youve come a long way into understanding this, kinda, so you arent the type of people that I am talking about. Im talking about the ones who dwell on a glance at the grocery store.

Its called being secure with yourself, and you should be, you are a great person with a personality and stunning looks. Hell, make it into a role play thing, whatever, but seriously stop wasting your time worrying about someone at the store.

7 09 2007

I trust my husband now, but it took a while for me to get there. My insecurities had nothing to do with his actions, and everything to do with my baggage. Fortunately I stopped being a paranoid, emasculating shrew before he started shopping for a good divorce attorney. I do get uncomfortable when we are in the presence of an ‘attractive young woman’, but again, that has more to do with me.

9 09 2007

I used to be a lot more jealous when I was younger, then – I don’t know – I just got over it. Maybe it was going through everything we’ve gone through and still being together that made me get over it. I’ll admit, though, that my “thing” is ex-girlfriends, particularly when they keep sniffing around. But that’s not an issue in my life anymore, given how long B and I have been together…

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