An open letter to me

26 09 2007

Dear High School Freshman Me,

Guess what? Life as you know it is about to change. Every choice you make from here on out in 1996 will inevitably change the world as you know it today in 2007. Pretty crazy huh? I can say this because anything before high school will not impact your life today. So I hope you had fun doing insignificant things because this is the time that it gets ugly. Oh yea it does. You thought that fight with your best friend in 8th grade that lasted 3 months was bad? Pshhh that’s nothing compared to the next 10 years sister.

So guess what? You meet a guy. He’s not a nice guy. He makes jokes at other people’s expense and the sick thing is, that is what attracts you to him. His sense of humor. You just don’t realize what a bastard he is until much much later. In fact, you marry this asshole. But only because you let him knock you up, so that’s ok.

I should tell you now to get away from this guy. I should tell you now that as time goes on, he will slowly start testing your boundaries. He’ll pinch your legs under the table and squeeze your hands to get you to shut up. He’ll start asking for money even though he has a job. He’ll eventually start hitting you, but never hard enough to leave a bruise. He’ll master this subtle head shake when he wants you to speak for him in response to someone else. You’ll end up scared to death of him. You actually think death is a better option than him. But just wait it out. Make those same choices. Because guess what?

He will give you one thing. One thing that is the most important thing he has ever given you in your entire relationship. He’ll give you a beautiful son. And lord, is that child beautiful. You will cry just looking at him because he takes your breath away. Because you will choose to stay with him, you will meet some of your best friends. In fact, you’ll meet a lot of really cool people along the way. Because you choose to stay with him, it is then, at your lowest point, when you have become numb and shut yourself completely off, that you will meet the love of your life. This is where it gets better.

So you see, all the bullshit turns into something great. I promise. Right now, its great. 10 years from now? Well I guess we’ll just cross that bridge when we get to it.

A few things that I do want to tell you that will make you feel better now? Don’t let the asshole take you from your family. He’s selfish like that and you will hate yourself for it now. Oh and spend a LOT more time with your grandma before she passes. You WILL regret that lost time more than you know. In general, stay close to your family. You don’t understand how badly you will need them later. But lucky for you, they will always love you and are always there for you. Just don’t ignore them so you wont have to realize that now.

Other than that, keep doin what you’re doing. You have great hair throughout high school and your body is smokin. Show it off and don’t wait until your senior year to realize that. Once that baby comes, it will never be the same. One more thing! Do a better job moving out of your parents because you suck at it the first time and now I cant find anything important from that time in our life! Dumb ass. *muah!*

2007, in love, healthy, and happy You

Thank you Amy for this great challenge! You rock! You know I got some linky love so check out these other fine bloggers writing letters to their younger selves!

Tomorrow I am participating in this. PLEASE, if you only click on one link in this post, pick that one. Bloggers Against Abuse. The beauty and power of this is that you can choose to blog against any form of abuse. I’ll be blogging, will you?



5 responses

26 09 2007

I love this.

You know what else the guy gave you? Experience. Now you know what you DONT want in a relationship, and youve learned. Thats what life is all about.

26 09 2007

That was great. I got goosebumps.

26 09 2007

P.S. Also, in the future, you will be a blogging sensation with eleventy frajillion fans. Including one sun fucker.

26 09 2007

That was awesome! I am really loving this challenge. I am finding out just how strong, cool, and wise my blogging friends are!

And I’m totally with you on the hair and body. Why, oh why, didn’t I appreciate it then?

27 09 2007

I love this so much.

Beautiful and poignant and true.

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