Not my thing

26 11 2007

I dont “do” Black Fridays. Another shocker right? Me, being the bargin hunting queen that I am! You know I loves me a good deal and a good sale but I cannot subject myself to the insanity that IS Black Friday.

I love deals. I do. Me and deals, we have a relationship. It’s hard to explain. You just have to get it. But I cannot justify saving money in exchange for the possibilty that I will get trampled. Here is the thing with me. I dont do crowds.

I get nervous. I get sweaty. I get tingley and I have trouble breathing. When I am in a crowd that feels frantic, I fuh-reak, just a little. I feel like I want to scratch my skin off and I have to get out, FAST. My guess is thats anxiety. I can walk through a crowd of people at Disneyland, or something similar to that. But shopping crowds? Them people be actin’ STOOPID and I cant deal with STOOPID. It’s that whole “I need to get there first, I need it more than you, I need, need, NEED, and want, want, WANT” that makes my skin CRAWL. Some people might think its not so bad. Good for you. Wake up at 4am and get your happy asses to the store. Me? I’ll be sleeping.

This time of year brings out the crazy in people. The week before Christmas, I cant go into a store even though thats usually when I need to do all my shopping because I am a procrastinator like that. My trips need to be brief, I need a list, and I need to get in and out otherwise, spaz attack. Rura saw it first hand last year and his eyes buldged out of his head for a minute when he saw my eyes starting to dart back and forth and watched me starting to scratch at my neck and face. He thought that was a good time to leave. And he’s still hanging in there folks! Bo-yah!

Have you ever been on the flip side of Black Friday? Like, behind the register?? For you BF lovers, those are real people, not robots. Yea. I was one, with my happy red shirt and khaki pants. Bright eyed on the morning of Black Friday, no less than 5 years ago. I was a young thing, just short of 19 years, a happy 8 months along in my pregnancy. Walking into work that morning, I only thought for a few seconds that it was odd that I was offered 20 bucks for my red t-shirt by someone waiting in line to get into the store. The line that went around the shopping center. Twice. I happily grabbed my money bag and went to my register. The vets around me looked nervous, as did security. It was 5 minutes to opening and already some people were pulling on the door handles. A few minutes later, the manager came from downstairs and yelled that they were unlocking the doors. People around me flinched and braced themselves. I had no idea the mayhem I was about to watch unfold.

People spilled into the door, falling over each other like sand pouring from a bucket. Our registers were staggered, not lined up like most Target registers are today. I was towards the middle and I watched in slow motion as a man who was pushing 40, was actually hurtling the register stands to get to a display of 10 dollar boomboxes that were stacked at the end of the furthest lane. He scooped up 3 and threw them on the register. His wife appeared from nowhere with a cart full of deals. The store had been open no more than 10 minutes. I still wonder how she did it. They were rung up and were back in the store in less than 10 minutes. Watching that middle aged man fly thru the air, I grabbed my belly and ducked as low as I could. I swore on that day that I would never work another Black Friday again. And I haven’t. I haven’t.

Having a line with more than 15 people in it, all with their carts overflowing, the tired kids whining, the grumpy husbands frowing at me, urging me with their scowls to move faster is what I believe made me hate Christmas shopping and the people who shop. It’s nothing personal against you dear reader, its just try and have a little compassion for the people behind those registers. Especially the young ones that are knocked up and only working because their baby daddy’s are complete assholes. *cough*

This year, I am focusing on getting SBJ his gifts within the next few weeks and then just grabbing a few things here and there. Example, I went to WalHell tonight and came out with no gifts. But I got a good IDEA for some. I plan ahead like that.

If you chose to experience Black Friday, more power to you. You are a stronger shopper than I will ever be. Meanwhile, I’m just going to lay here, browsing Amazon and forming gift ideas for mine and Rura’s families.

Me and my kitty.

Like my newly shapen eyebrows?

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9 responses

27 11 2007
heather

I’m with you! I get the same anxiety and have vowed this year to do 90% of my shopping online. I hate, HATE being around all those pushy shoppers.

27 11 2007
squishycutegirl

Yes! I’m like that with cars too. People drive stupid and I hate people. I panic. There may be hyperventilating. That’s why I’m almost done Christmas shopping. I just want that part over with so I can get on to the fun stuff. Like cookies.

27 11 2007
davidsdoll101

Yeah, I didnt door bust, but I was out. The worst I saw was the 45 minute Toys R Us line in Redlands, I stood in it and all, but only because there were no lines at Kmart or Walmart. Walmart was pretty much a dream, actually. A checker came out and found ME!

27 11 2007
skiplovey

Girl I am all about Amazon. I luvs me some online shopping. Cuz shopping in real stores is a drag. I have to drive,park, schlep, dodge, grab, wait, scream, glare and then spend waaay too much money.

27 11 2007
Amy

I did Black Friday once. To get a $70 PowerWheels. (Oh, the things we do for our first born children.)

I. HAVE. WRITER’S. BLOCK.

HATE! NABLOPOMO!

27 11 2007
rimarama

You poor thing and you were 8 months pregnant! That ain’t right. I think the whole stampede camping out overnight thing is sick. I hope you never have to work another black friday again, either. I’m with Skiplovey – Amazon rawks! And if the stars are aligned just right, you don’t even have to pay for shipping!

27 11 2007
Tere

Yeah, no Black Friday for me either. Would rather stab my eyes out.

27 11 2007
The Kept Woman

I could swear that I wrote this.

I cannot stand crowds and despite my love for fabulous deals it is not worth it to stand in the freezing cold to save $25, $50 or even $100. People were spending the NIGHT in the FREEZING weather just to be 1st into Best Buy…

The retailers totally cause mass hysteria and panic when they’ll probably offer similar deals in the following weeks as XMas nears.

(breathes in and out of brown paper bag)

28 11 2007
zdoodlebub

1. Your eyebrow is beautiful.
2. I have worked Black Friday both at Pier 1 and JCPenney. It really makes you hate people.

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