“With you, all I know is, I’m coming home”

7 01 2008

It’s hard for me to define “home”. I haven’t felt the physical presence of a home for a long time. Being that I have not exactly “settled” in the last year, I am seriously missing my own space, my own “home”. This is why I spend a majority of my time holed up in my room, because it feels like my own space. I like having control of what is playing on the radio, or on the TV, of being able to read or go online without interruption (this excludes interruptions of the male persuasion of course, boy or man).  I miss that independence, that freedom. I know, why don’t I actually DO something about it?! Huh. You know me, all talk, no action. Oh and have you seen cost of living around these parts lately? Not pretty. And don’t get me started on location. That is an argument safe for another day.

Of course I do love the area I am in now. I have no complaints. Its not crowded, and some areas are very gorgeous. Its just not “local” to Rura’s station and the commute? Not so close. But that’s Southern California for you. Most people I know commute. I drive at least 30-40 minutes to get to work. And that doesn’t include the days I have to take SBJ to school.

I’m getting off track…

I was laying in bed this morning, NOT wanting to get up for work, and I was remembering the town I grew up in. It was a small community, a ski resort town. I loved it, and I miss it. I wasn’t much for skiing or snowboarding and the one time I tried? Well I was sore for 3 days. But I would so try again if I got the chance.



I was thinking about how it felt to live in that town. I knew ALL my neighbors by name, by pet, and by kid. Every neighbor on the whole street and half the street next to us. I grew up with their kids or babysitting their kids. I knew the inside of their houses as well as I knew my own. We could run in during a day of playing, just to use the bathroom, or to get a glass of water. I could walk out of my house in the morning on a Saturday and not come back in until well after dark. My parents weren’t scared of letting me out to play all day. They were used to hearing the door open and close throughout the day and welcomed all the neighborhood kids in as well. I knew every inch of property from my own house, to at least 4 blocks in each direction, and I knew all the good hiding places too.

I miss that. Since I have “grown up” and lived on my own, I have never known any of my neighbors, unless they happened to be family of the ex. And that doesn’t count! My parents have lived in their house for 6 years and I really don’t think they know their neighbors. Its amazing because they used to have a key ring with a key to every home on the block in our old town. That’s just the way it was.

Is it the times that are a changin’? Or is it purely based on location? I know I don’t feel safe letting SBJ outside without me being out there with him. Even my mom, who used to let me roam free for hours, doesn’t let him go in the backyard alone.

That makes me sad. It makes me really want to find a place like that to raise my kids. It makes me wonder if a place like that even exists anymore.




12 responses

7 01 2008

well hey if you find it let me know, k? It sure doesn’t exist around my part of town.

7 01 2008

I hear ya. While my childhood community was not a close-knit as the one you describe, I still did a lot of roaming. But it scares the heck out of me to think about letting my kids run around the way I used to someday.

I think that there are probably still some places like that out there. And I don’t think the world is all that much more dangerous, we just know more about the horror thanks to 24 hour news.

You’ll have that home feeling again someday, I’m sure 😉

7 01 2008

Not in the Inland Empire it doesnt. Check out the Megan’s Law database for your city.

8 01 2008

I’m with you, my hometown was the same way. I wonder if I were to move back there if it would still feel the same – safe. I worry about the schools my kids are going to go to in this town and I’ve never felt at home here. Do you think it’s that places have become more dangerous because people are less connected? Or are people less connected because of things like long commutes so they just don’t have time to connect?

8 01 2008

With my upcoming move, I’ve been wondering about this. I hope I’ll meet some great neighbors, but deep down I think that people are too busy to accept/meet new friends or have too many family obligations. It’s really sad.

Did you ever watch Gilmore Girls? I wish that I lived in a quirky town like Stars Hollow.

9 01 2008

Come to Tennessee! (I seriously never thought I’d type that, sounding all smiley and happy about it. Gah.)

I grew up in a sidewalk neighborhood where all the kids roamed all over the place. I walked to grade school every day, walked home for lunch, walked back in the afternoon.

Our particular place in Nashville is great for kids. Mine and the neighbors kids roam all over. Not as big of an area as my childhood, but at least one long street and a big cul-de-sac.

People (me on occasion) scoff or make fun of the “gated community” trend. But when you just want to be able to turn your little ones loose and not be terrified, you begin to see the appeal. Our sub isn’t gated, but it is a small community at the top of a hill that everyone who visits me marvels at because they never knew it was there. It has been great so far!

9 01 2008

I so hear you on this one. I remember during summer vacation when I was young, I would eat breakfast and then go out to ride my bike and play in the park with my friends. I might come back home for lunch or dinner, but I’d essentially be out until dark. Not a worry in the world. Nowadays, I won’t let my kid out of my sight. And it’s real sad – I have lived here (in SoCal) for 4 years in the same house and only know 1 neighbor. I really think it’s the times. Sad. Of course, if I lived in a small town somewhere less metro than the LA area, things might be different.

9 01 2008

I found you through Amy’s Magnum Opus, and I wanted you to know I live in a little town like that. They do exist. But you have to be willing to live 45 miles from ANYTHING to live here. I personally like being 45 minutes from anything, so it works out well.

10 01 2008

Awesome post, awesome pictures.

I grew up in a tight knit neighbourhood, also. However, the moment I could bust out, I moved to the city of Vancouver and fell in love with big city life.

Now that I have kids, I covet suburbia. That said, I don’t even think suburbia would be the same as it was when I was a kid.

~ Huckdoll

17 01 2008

It sounds ideal, nothing like that around here

27 01 2008

I’m still alive. Just wanted to say “hey-ay!”

Love this post. I just think we all know more now and aren’t willing to take any chances with our kids getting hurt or abused. I don’t think that dangers are around every corner…but we know they are around some corners and no one wants to roll the dice with their kid. Even in the safest of towns, you’d be hard pressed to find a parent who would let their kid stay out after dark in this day and age.

And it’s a different world now. We have our various screens to keep us company, give us a false or real (my blog connections feel very real) sense of connection. There’s no motivation to get outside and make those neighborhood connections. They used to do that out of necessity and relief from boredom. We’re very isolated now, as a society, that’s to the “global” community of the internet and a million tv channels.

The end.

19 02 2008
saving me | finding atman

[…] Miss, for her entry about communities being a place to call home and how much she misses the safety and comfort of a small town. It spoke exactly to what I’ve […]

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