Everything changes… And friends become strangers

13 02 2008

Well it seems that, based on your comments from my last post, that you all feel that I should NOT leap regarding my ex friend.

I have to say that I agree. Somewhat. (Chill, let me explain. Sheesh.)

I know, without hesitation, that whatever type of friendship we had in the past, will never happen again. Ever. I will never trust her with any part of me, with any information about my life, with anything. I can’t. I will never go to any length to do the things I have done for her, to make the sacrifices I did. I will never lie for her or put myself in a position where I have to cover for her in any way.

What I can do is tolerate her. I can play nice. I can drink her beer. But I really doubt that I could ever call her a friend ever again.

 Friendship is funny. After high school, the whole concept of friendship changes. The people you thought were your friends let you down. The people that really ARE your friends, stay by you. Out of all the “friends” I had in high school, I still talk to about 3 of them. That is a shockingly low number to me. In the 7 (almost 8 ) years since graduation, I have 2 good friends that I know I can count on. I’ve made one really good friend here at work. The ultimate test to me, being a “grown up” is making friends out of co-workers and finding out if they were really your friend after you leave that job.

2 maybe 3 friends. Seems kinda low.

But wait. I’m forgetting about an untapped group of friends. Internet friends. Blogging buddies. There are so many people that I have gotten close to, thanks to the Internet. This would normally be the place where I would link drop like crazy. But I don’t think I have to. My friends know who they are.

In all honesty, anyone who commented on that last post and the FUCKED UP situation that I am faced with is now considered my friend. Seriously. That’s the beauty of the Internet. We write about the most off the wall shit and yet there is still someone out there who can relate. We can write about the most random stuff our kids, loved ones, and just people in general come up with, and we can find some humor, compassion, and love to pass on.

We are a lucky few.

Thank you for being there for me, without reservation.

Thank you for reading, without asking for anything in return. (except comments. GIVE ME COMMENTS you demand)(Ok ok you know I do!)

Most of all, thanks for relating, for being honest, and for being you.

(Everybody now – AWWWWWWWW)

Oh yea, and thanks for coming back.

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Your Assvice Needed

16 01 2008

I have a slight “situation” on my hands. So why not turn to the internet for advice?

 This week, I have been making plans to go visit my best buddy S and her man and all her kiddos. Gotta renew my Auntie status, you know? That was the last time I saw her two oldest and the last time I saw her and the new baby was the day after she was born, which had to have been about 2 and a half months. With the holidays and all, we have both just been too busy.

This weekend is her oldest daughter’s 7th birthday.* They are celebrating by going to Chuck E.’s and I told S that we would all be able to come out for the weekend. They live a good 45 minutes to an hour away. When I go out there, I go out there intending to spend the night. Gives me and S time to catch up, the kids time to play, and the guys time to talk about inappropriate sexual positions. Good times had by all. This is my time with S to act like women, not just mommies. Yes we ARE being mommies because we all know the guys are pretty much zoned out, but we can still just hang out and enjoy the company of humans that we do not work with and whose butts we don’t have to wipe. Get me?

So everything was FINE. I switched around schedules with the ex so that I knew I would have SBJ ALL weekend, instead of having to go visit them without him or leave early to take him back to his dad’s. It was all working out. Working out too well obviously.

Rura’s cousin is turning 30. They are having a party at his house. On Saturday night.

Do you recognize my “situation” yet? Let me elaborate.

I am going to visit S and the kids. I am leaving Saturday morning and coming home Sunday afternoon. I was planning on the three of us going. S is expecting the 3 of us. But I know that Rura wants to go to the party. Why would he NOT want to go? I found out about the party last night. I told him about the party AFTER I told him about the weekend plans. I also told him that it is his choice what he wants to do, but that I already had my plans set and that I did not want to change them.

Why not? Ok. I’m sorry. It would be easy for us to go out Saturday morning and come back in time for the party. Of COURSE it would be. But do you know how often I do that? I am constantly cutting short activities I enjoy doing, so that we can do something else. The last time we were visiting S right after the baby was born, we only stayed for like 2 hours because Rura wanted to go home when he actually just wanted to go to a party. That I couldn’t go to. Which would normally be ok, it just upset me that I had to cut my visit with S short. Which is exactly what would be happening this weekend if I compromised with him.

I don’t want to put him in this situation. I don’t want him to have to choose. I just explained to him that we were just at his cousin’s for New Years (which BTW, we went to AFTER we got an invite to a party that S’s in-laws were having, but that’s not really significant is it?) and have hung out and partied with them a few times SINCE the last time I got to see S and the kids. So to me, seeing my best friend and the closest kids I have to a nephew and 2 nieces, is much more important to me. He understands that. But I know he doesn’t want to choose.

He chooses me, he lets down his family. He chooses them, he lets me down.

I would call that a situation.

My problem is, I love him. I don’t want to tell him to choose me. This type of thing has always been on ongoing “thing” in our relationship. I feel like this is a test for both of us. I’m very much afraid of who’s going to fail it. I’m scared its going to be me.

I appreciate every moment we spend together. We have been inseparable the last few months and its been great. I would really love for him to go with me this weekend. But I have to understand if he feels he can’t go. It’s just hard.

So help. Any advise, anything you might have to offer, let me hear it.

*Her oldest and SBJ are two months apart. We were pregnant together. OMG. I’m going to be the mother of a 7 year old.





A Perfect Post, amongst other things

3 01 2008

Yup, its that time. Perfect Post Award time. I always keep an eye out for those posts that really touch me and they are out there, all over the blogosphere. But I always forget to write my perfect post award. Maybe 2008 will be a good excuse to stop forgetting simple things like that! 

PP Dec

I’m giving my December perfect post to Jessie for her Anniversary post, Happy. It’s true you know. The great loves of our lives don’t always come with a “spark”. If you have someone in your life that can quiet the daily rush of activity around you, you are lucky indeed. Of course, I will argue that an 8 1/2 inch personality cant exactly HURT, now can it?

If you want more PP, go visit Petroville and Suburban Turmoil.

Aside from that Perfect Post award, I can recommend LOTS of good blogs with LOTS of good entries. Lets see…

Guess 2008 brought out the fertility stick because two of my favorite bloggers are pregnant. Go give congrats to The Kept Woman and Heather over at I’ll Think of It. I was holding Rura’s niece the other day and I gave him the eyes and said “lets have one”. He just rolled his eyes at me. Is that a no?

Z is kicking 2007 out the door. Sometimes we have bad years. It happens. 2008 belongs to her though. Amy needs some support and some major muscle to break down some walls. Go lend her an ear or two.

If you want gossip, go check out Ali’s new website, Juice: Entertainment News with Extra Pulp. She touches on all kinds of good stuff and always has good music to pimp too. Go say hi why don’t you!

Monique is making some big changes in ’08. Maybe we can all learn something from them!

One more thing… Go check out Crawl Watch ’08. Its gonna be a good one.





All mixed up

20 12 2007

Today is just a jumble of things. I’m even warming up to the idea of using bullets. Should I?? Why not.

rain drops

  • It’s been raining here the past few days. So badly the other night that my car did a little hydroplaning on the freeway. Rura was driving and handled it well. Of course he said that he never wanted to drive on the freeway in the rain again, but that can’t really be avoided now can it?
  • Today SBJ has a Christmas program. Whoever’s idea it was to have 1st graders sing “Must be Santa” must hate all the parents. Do you know how long that song is?? Plus his school has like the smallest cafeteria known to man that they cram a ton of parents and kids in. And no parking. So I had to come to work early and I get to leave late. That kid better appreciate me being there.
  • The crazy biatch at work gave cookies to everyone. Individually wrapped. I don’t feel safe eating them. But she had to throw in my favorite cookie just to temp me. Damn her.
  • I need coffee.
  • Last night, a miracle of sorts occurred. I went to Target and spent less than 10 dollars.Don’t believe me. I know you don’t. But it’s true. I bought mousse, note cards, a composition book, and Tostito’s Queso. Oh and two candy bars. Came out under $10 and both me and Rura were shocked. Never happened before, probably wont ever happen again.
  • Head on over to see a crazy bitch that blogs. While you are there, wish Jessie a Happy Birthday! Just don’t mention Christmas and the fact that its only 5 days from now. She is kinda bitter about that. For good reason of course. Happy Birthday!!!
  • The last bullet is reserved for Amy. Amy! I am the cat, you are the chair:

lovedischair

Fo sho.





Calling all angels

6 12 2007

One of my very best bloggy friends is in a situation that NO ONE should ever be in, especially around the holidays.

Jessie’s sweet husband David broke his clavicle riding his bike back to work after lunch. He works for a recycling company and is in charge of his own recycling center during the day. At night, he delivers pizza. Now with his injury, he can do neither. The doctor called for him to be out of work for at least 6 weeks.

Let me tell you a little about David, if you don’t read Jessie regularly (which you so should be doing BTW). David is just… well…. he’s David. I am talking about a guy that works two jobs so his wife can stay home with their kids. He wants badly to work in law enforcement or with the fire department. He knits. He reads. He takes great pictures of bugs and then writes about them. (There should be a link there but I cant find the URL to his bug site). He makes hilarious videos with Jessie.

These are all normal traits and David is a normal guy. What makes David special in my eyes, is that he has shown to be a better man than most guys out there. He steps up to the plate in every situation life throws at him. He is a good father and has been since a young age. When most guys would have taken off, he stuck with it and has done an excellent job of being a father and a husband. Jessie describes him much better than I could of course:

Me? I’m probably hell bound, but David on the other hand is living, breathing proof that there are good people in the world still. Little old ladies touch his hands for some reason when they talk to him. Animals absolutely love him, including sick ones who hate anyone but their owner, he’s surprised a good number of people by getting the sick mean doggies to lick his hands.

David’s friends are mostly homeless, people he’s met while working at the bins. The man who helped him today was one of his homeless buddies. He’s never been able to help them financially, but he did set it up at his pizza place with the owners so that if they came and cleaned out the dumpster area they would be paid in pizza, just so they could have a hot meal.

They are in a situation that could not have happened to nicer people. If you have ever lived pay check to pay check, you KNOW what kind of situation they are in. It sucks.

So I’m asking anyone reading, to stop by Jessie’s and read her post about David’s accident. She gives a link to her paypal and if you have a little extra to give this holiday season, please do. If you can’t then that’s cool. Just do me a favor and go over to her site anyways and click on her ads that are in her sidebar. Click them all right now, then go back the next day and click them again. Trust me, visiting her site will bring at least a smile to your face or some kind of understanding of the type of people Jessie and David are.

Karma is in full force here people. I promise you that much.

Last night when I read about David’s accident, I signed up for Google Ads. I got approved and stuck the code on my site today but at work, I cant see them. If anyone can, let me know. If I manage to make any money off of them in the next month or so, I’ll be donating that to Jessie and David.

Another thing you can do to help is to buy Jessie’s book, Eat Your Colors. It’s available through LuLu Books and it’s a really great book. (Jessie, this isn’t my review) It has all kinds of tips on how to feed your family better and healthier. The recipes are good and the drawings are cute. If you know of anyone with picky eaters, or you’ve got one yourself, this is a great book for them.

This post is really just me trying to help a friend. Nothing more, nothing less. No one deserves the stress and strain of supporting a family of 4 with no income (other than the disability checks which equal NIGHTMARE) especially around the holidays. If you have it in you, in the spirit of good intentions and good will and over all goodness that I know some of you have inside you, please do whatever you think you can to help them. If you need blogging material, please link to Jessie. Every little bit helps.

Like I said, karma is in full force here. It will come back to you in some way, shape, or form.

Thank you for reading and for all that you can do.