Just shut up already!

30 07 2008

I realized something last week.

I talk way to damn much. When I think I have something interesting to say, I talk. And talk. And talk, talk, talk, and I don’t let the people with me get a word in. I sit down with a friend and the flood gates open. Especially if the person doesn’t really know me.

You know there are friends who you are getting to know and then there are friends who know you? They know all your bullshit so you really just kick back and talk about the weather? (ok not really the weather per say, but you know what I mean) Well I really realized I had this problem. Because I kept sitting there, word vomit flowing from my mouth, my brain screaming at me to SHUT UP ALREADY, and I couldn’t stop. There were times when I was out of breath!

Add alcohol to the equation??

I sat, in a crowded, small space, and yelled (or so I was told) “I’m dysfunctional!!”. It sounded like a whisper to me, I swear. Of course this was only after  I had just described my family. Both sides. Explaining the complexity of my family, both sides!, all at once made me realize that I am dysfunctional. And I felt the need to supposedly scream that out. It doesn’t help to be in the company of an intimidatingly good looking, smart, way out of my league, person. The combination of that, alcohol, and nicotine (which, HELLO head rush) is what must have caused me to become so obnoxious.

I do it online too. Instant messages, plurk, whatever. I respond and respond and dont stop and then its just silence. Oh shit, I bored them all to death. Am no longer cute and witty, but annoying.

Maybe its nerves. Or maybe I am really just THAT socially challenged. Damn you, never ending awkward phase!!!

Looks like we made it

27 12 2007

Christmas is over? I can come out of hiding now? FINALLY!

It wasn’t that bad people. I can’t complain. No wait, that’s a lie. I can complain about the IDIOT I married deciding on Christmas Eve to live up to his title of being a complete asshole. So much more than usual too! He decides he wants to take SBJ that night, instead of the next morning. Fucking tard. Instead of “putting my foot down” and telling him no, I agreed, therefore completely bypassing what I’m sure would have been a very dramatic standoff of sorts, possibly including local law enforcement which is just not cool. So when I had to take my grandma home, I also sent SBJ off with his dad. I hated doing it because I wanted to do the whole “Santa came” thing which we had to fake on Christmas Eve. Eh, C’est la vie. He still loved the bike that Santa brought him and the Spy Gear that Rura and I got for him. Amazingly, he got no clothes. Well I bought him some PJ pants but I didn’t wrap them, I just showed them to him. Then again, he does have 4 presents to open from my aunts and one of my aunts is famous for giving out clothes. So I’m not holding my breath.

This Christmas was interesting though. Here’s why (with more bullets) wee!

  • My aunt who is visiting her daughter in Iowa busted the back of her head open and needed 5 staples in her head. She did not want to go to the hospital because she did not want her head shaved. She went and did not end up getting shaved. Just stapled.
  • My grandma did not want to come over for Christmas. The only part of my mom’s family in California for the holiday, and she wanted to stay home. Not on my watch G-ma! I went and picked her up and took her home.
  • My dad’s family breakfast was awesome. One of his brother’s wives went bat shit crazy on the family and accused all of us of hating her daughter. Good times! She was pissed no one complimented my cousin for loosing 50 pounds. Hello, are you just joining our family? We don’t compliment each other. We exploit each others weaknesses with glee and then we all laugh about it. I mean just this year I was asked if my house was my car and if I was going to prison. Good times had by all.
  • Rura fucking scored in the presents department. It took my family almost 5 years to even acknowledge that my ex was alive, and that was after I popped out his kid. This was Rura’s second Christmas spent with my family. Perfect example: My parents got my ex a t-shirt for Christmas. One of those $10 ones from Target with some dumb phrase on it. It wasn’t even a funny one. That was on the last Christmas we spent with my family. Rura got a portable speaker type gadget for his Ipod, a soccer shirt, AND a $25 gift card for Jamba Juice. Facker. He made out. All that brown nosing paid off for sure.
  • Between me and him, we have $75 worth of Jamba Juice.
  • Worst part of Christmas? We did NOT watch Christmas Vacation. WTF I ask you? We watched Close Encounters of the Third Kind INSTEAD. Cool in the 70’s? Hell yea. 2007? Um no, not so much, no. That whole movie is an anti-climatic rip off.

So there you have it. I got some pretty nice clothes and a PJ set, some gift cards, lotion from B&B Works, and my two bestest presents?? A hand me down Dooney and Burke purse from my aunt that I have been drooling over since I first saw it like 3 years ago at her house. Its white with navy blue lettering and tan handles and accents… drool, drool, all day. When she brought it in the house before she left my aunts, she said “remember this?” and I started jumping up and down. None of my cousin’s got it. Hello, boys are stupid remember? The decided that the D & B on the purse must stand for Damn Bitch, or more favorable, Dumb Bitch. Yea, no. Stoopid boys.

Favorite gift? More than my purse? That will MATCH my purse? My daddy promised me a Dodger Jacket, from the stadium, first game we go to next year. Well a jacket or a jersey. *insert happy frickin dance here* Do you know how badly I have been wanting a real Dodgers jacket? I will die and go to heaven the day I get that jacket. I ask to be buried in it. *cough*

Hope everyone else out there had a Merry Christmas.

Oh did you see my new header?? Purdiful isn’t it??! Courtesy of the gorgeous, but M.I.A. Dawn. Dawn, come back to the blogosphere!!!!!! I miss you!!

Oh thanks goodness!

30 11 2007

NaBlowMe is OVER in 1 hour!!! Seriously, this month was hard. Participating in NaBloPoMo totally goes against my nature to be lazy, but I tried it, and I succeeded. I have surprised even myself. Was a month enough practice to get me to continue blogging every day? Probably not. Everyone seems a bit burned out and I dont blame them. I am really going to try and keep posting daily but when I really dont feel like it, I like that I dont have to. And thats what I learned during NaBloPoMo. The end.

Got my new TV today. With it, I got a DVD player, a VCR, a bunch of DVD’s, dumpster porn, a Sylvia Brown book to read, and another book that I will be reviewing later. I have to put it down to finish this because its distracting me. Oh and I got cookies. Sugar cookies with cinnamon on them. I’m eating them for dinner. I also got a new best buddy. He has bright red hair and rose colored cheeks. He’s pretty awesome.

Where the hell did I get all these things? Why from Jessie’s house of course. Hi! *waves* Thanks for the cookies, the blog talk, and for not bonking me on the head and taking advantage of me.

In other news, it rained all day today. I pretty much followed it out to Jessie’s after work and her rain came with thunder and lightning as I was leaving. I enjoy the rain but driving in it makes me tired.

Rura is going to a bachelor party tomorrow. For a cop. I don’t think I’m worried. Until tomorrow.

Oh and? I dont want to jinx anything by saying this but Rura and I have been blow out free for going on 2 months! You have no idea how happy it makes me to be able to say that. I hate our big fights.

Gah! I am so tired. My damn dumb ass alarm didn’t go off this morning and I woke up 20 minutes AFTER I should have already left for work. But I do get to sleep in tomorrow before I go and pick up SBJ from his dads.

Good night and Good bye NaBloPoMo!

Around and back again

1 11 2007

This year, Halloween was a mixed bag for me. To be perfectly honest, as of yesterday morning, I was pretty much OVER Halloween all together. I just wanted to get through the day quickly and get it over with. In the end, it didn’t turn out so bad.

Every year since he was born, I have taken SBJ trick or treating. This was the first year that I didn’t. The ex’s sister had offered to have her boys (ages 17 and down) take him trick or treating around her neighborhood. When I asked him what he wanted to do, he said that he wanted to go with them. Cousin’s trump mom every time. Especially boy cousins. That was pretty depressing but he is 6 and I know this will NOT be the last time I loose out over “hanging with the boys” vs. “hanging with mom.” I’m fine with that. As fine as I can be. So he stayed with his dad last night. I’ll pick him up today from soccer practice so I’m sure I’ll be hearing all kinds of stories.

Two years ago on Halloween, I took SBJ trick or treating around town. This was the first year the ex decided not to go with us and also the first year that Rura did. He walked the blocks and blocks of houses with us while we collected all different kinds of candy. We had a lot of fun together.

Halloween 2005. This is also the first picture we ever took together. We weren’t dating at the time, but don’t worry, the obligatory anniversary post WILL come this month.

Halloween 2007. Do you like my boob muscles? We snapped this one real quick before midnight, just for the tradition. We WERE in costume earlier but had already changed.

We didn’t trick or treat together last year because I was about 20 days shy of manning up and leaving the ex.

After I left work I was pretty out of the mood of Halloween. There was a severe accident at my work that I really cannot talk about now, but I will say that it was horrific and not exactly the best way to kick off Halloween. I went over to Rura’s and we were just going to hang out there, pass our candy, and just chill with his family. His sisters, brother, and cousin were dressed up and when I left for the store, I came back and HE was dressed up. So I just threw something together because I wasn’t prepared with a costume. We hung out for a bit handing out candy, him scaring kids by laying on top of the roof and throwing a dangling cushion thing at them when they walked up. He made a little girl cry and after that, he stopped because he felt bad. After that, we decided to do our own trick or treating. Mind you, the youngest person with us was 15 so we got a lot of “aren’t you a little OLD to be trick or treating?” We threw eggs at those houses.

I kid!!! It was toilet paper!

Overall, it was a good night. The beer helped, let me tell you! Getting an extra hour of sleep because I stayed at Rura’s helped too.

I totally blanked on the Perfect Post Awards this month. I had a good one in mind too but I’m not going to say who’s. If I did, then you would be mad because I was too lazy to do it and you don’t get a shiny button for it. So lets just pretend I didn’t say anything at all ok?

This is my first post of NaBloPoMo. I really don’t know if I can do this so please encourage me! Monique outlined what she is going to do for the month. I can only say so far that on Saturdays I want to do a post with pics from the week and on Sunday, of course I’ll be doing ARK Sundays.

What is ARK Sundays you ask? Well just go here and check it out!  Now with buttons!!

I am giving you a free pass for at least 4 posts of NaBloPoMo here people! That is 4 posts that will practically write themselves. Unless you are pure evil. Then you are on your own.

That’s it. I’m spent. Come back every day this month for exciting posts just like this one. *yawn*

Auntie Miss

23 10 2007

This weekend I got to perform my auntie duties. I am still recovering which is why I haven’t posted. Of course, I got myself into this by offering to take my good friend S’s kids to a Halloween party that my family was having. She couldn’t come because she is 11 months pregnant and I really didn’t want her laboring all over our party. I don’t think she would have liked that either.

So on Saturday, after SBJ’s soccer game* I drove halfway out to where they live and we did the kid exchange. Except we didn’t swap kids. She got my sanity and I got her two kids. The first one, PP (which stands for Pirate Princess, her costume of choice) is two months older than SBJ. They are betrothed and have been since birth. When I was pregnant, and S was pregnant, we became friends. Our kids have been best friends since they were born, forced to get along. They spent their first Halloween together, moms pushing them in their strollers. SBJ as Dumbo and PP as a little ladybug. They couldn’t walk and sucked pacifiers the whole time but I know they had a blast.

Her second, LN (or Lil’ Ninja) is going to be 4 and is a little bundle of interestingness. I’ve always said he resembles Beavis, except with huge blue eyes like his momma. And his nostrils are fine. He gets the forehead from his daddy. He has the cutest little voice and is always saying things that crack me up.

So I’m having to do all of this exchanging and preparing for the party on my own, since Rura was participating in a Police Simulation with his post. He told me that I was just practicing for when I start popping out all his babies. *snort*

I was really suprised with myself because I only forgot TWO things that I needed to bring to the party which is amazingly low for me. I managed to get all three kids into their costumes, get mine on (sans Britney Spears wig) and gather up all our stuff in less than an hour. It was then that I could go and pick up Rura and we could all get on to the party. We had to make a quick stop at Big Lots and while I was in there, IN COSTUME, he went ahead and transformed himself to Lil’ John. I was rockin the poodle skirt with a black wig. Yea no matching costumes for us. We have one more party this weekend with HIS family and I might actually go as Britney Spears. Once you see me in the wig, you will so agree that I look like her. I just need some cowboy boots, a Starbucks cup, and some cigerettes to complete the outfit. Oh, and I cant wear underwear which Rura might appreciate. Everyone else, not so much.

In the end, the kiddies ended up staying overnight and two poopie pullups, candy for breakfast, two trips to McDonalds, 3 bags of candy, 1 popped balloon, lots of “Auntie I’m thirsty, I’m not eating that, thats yucky, Batman is a GOOD GUY, and I farted, who farted, YOU farted, GROSS”, and tons and tons of trucks and car toys later, it was time to return those little darlings to their parents.

And I already miss the little boogers.

brit lil john
I told you so.

*SBJ scored a goal in his game!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I almost cried. He has been struggling this season and he scored!! It was an awesome goal and I’m such a good mother, I didn’t have my camera. Oh and no one but me and the ex were there to see it. But my baby scored!!!!!!!

Late as usual…

4 10 2007

So apparently yesterday, while I was busy blogging about ghosts and mango tea, the rest of the internets were de-lurking.

The thing about it is, I totally read about this on Monday, I was just tooooo lazy to make the post. So I’m breaking the rules too, like Jennifer. Because rules are meant to be broken. Yea.

So de-lurk!

Hey you club mommies coming from the daily dose?? I see you! Thank you for coming, please show me your pretty faces…err… blogs.

Rura, this means you too! I know you are out there somewhere because you TOLD me you were reading so say hi will ya? LOVE YOU (and your cute butt).

Actually, I have a confession. There is truely only one person I would love to see de-lurk. You visit my blog every day and get here in the same way. You are like a morning cup of coffee, always there for me. So sun fucker, will you please say hello? I would love to greet you by kicking you in your balls and personally asking you to STOP GOOGLING THAT FUCKED UP  TERM THAT GETS YOU HERE EVERY DAY!! Fucking book mark me already bitch! *cough*

If you are still up to it and not offended that I didn’t personally ask you to de-lurk, go ahead and leave me a comment. I’m not famous enough yet to ignore you and I’m certainly not too busy to stop by your place, drink your wine (or whatever’s in your fridge) and leave you a comment too.

“It’s like living on the fucking sun”

3 09 2007

It’s hot. Right now, its 108.3 degrees. Today is the coolest day out of the last 3.

We’re trying to stay cool.


He got pretty high!

Underwater cameras RULE.

Thats how we roll.