Because that’s not my job!!

7 11 2007

Jessie challenged me to write about the 13th photo in one of my albums. Every album I had, was a picture I dont like. So to defeat the whole purpose, I’ll write about two pictures that I absolutely love.

cool

I happen to think that kid in that picture is cool. In fact, he rocks. We both do. This picture was taken when I worked nights, and spent my days with SBJ at home. Based on the background, I can figure that this picture was taken after he had turned 3, sometime in July or August. I had just bought a web cam and we were playing around on it.

SBJ was my best friend for a long time. I hung out with him all day, what do you expect? We used to dance to the Lilo and Stitch soundtrack, watch movies, go to Target, and play games all day. That was before he started talking a lot. Now, he wont be quiet. He is constantly chattering and asking questions ALL. DAY. LONG.

“Mom, why is your tummy getting bigger? Are you having a baby?”

“Mom, how old are you?”

“Mom, who came first in the whole wide world? How did people start?”

“Mom, how do you pee? Why don’t you stand up like me?”

“Mom, mom, mom, MOM, why aren’t you listening to meeeeee?”

and my favorite, which I hear about 10 times a day,

“Mom, can we go to McDonalds?”

candy

Thats us, eating candy that my friend sent us from Texas. She had just sent us a package FULL of goodies and I sent her pictures of us enjoying them.

Remember that “wont stop talking” thing? It also means, “wont get OUT FROM UNDERFOOT!!!!!”

Holy cow, this kid wont leave me alone for two seconds. I have been asked at least 6 times while writing this when I will be done so I can go play video games with him. When he DOES walk away from me for two seconds, he’s standing in front of the TV asking my parents lots and lots of completely random questions, much like the ones I wrote about.

Right now he is bribing me with fake food. He keeps putting them on my lap and they keep sliding off. This is what I am hearing:

“Put on the shower. Put on the shower. Put on the shoowwwwwwweeeerrrr. (No games until he doesn’t smell like a foot.) Mommy, do you like butterflies? Do you? Theres butterflies in our room on the wall. singing And I know how to count, and I dont know how to count.”

He ran away. And jumped on my dad. Then ran back to me. Haha, my mom told him to calm down. Now he is laying on the dog bed. My dad asked him what his problem is. LMAO. He’s acting like a dog.

Dad: “You gotta poop dog? GO OUTSIDE!”
Mom: “Don’t fart any more you stinky dog!” Yea thats because he farted on my mom earlier.

Back on the dog bed.

Back to the talking and sitting next to me barking like a dog. A rabid dog. He wont go get his PJ’s because he said that it wasn’t his job. I would then assume that makes it MY job.

Please tell me that my child is not the only strange one on the planet?

Remember ARK Sundays!! And have fun with it!





Well damn…

6 11 2007

Ask and you shall receive huh? You guys blow me away, which just goes to show that I am an uncreative LOSER and you all rock. I got lots of great ideas like the story of me and Rura, traveling when I was a kid, horrible junior high tales (yikes), writing about music (love!), pictures or even the way I thought my life would go. One fuggin’ crazy blogger even asked me to show my boobs. (This isn’t her first request BTW).

So where do I start?

I have done a lot of thinking about it and I do want to touch on a lot of these subjects. I also want to really introduce the three of us sometime this month, that way I can just like to those posts when I write our “About” page. Haha. Lazy people are good at multitasking, leaves more time for doing absolutely nothing.

Today SBJ had ANOTHER dentist appointment. The ex took him to it and I got another excellent report back. Not on his teeth, but how he handled it. I think that he should only have 1 or 2 more appointments to go. He needs the spacer for the tooth they pulled and a cap for the root canal. Do you think I’m kidding when I said he inherited bad teeth? Check this out:

In case you can’t tell or have never seen a dental xray, that nice big dark spot is where they performed the root canal. On my 6 year old. So far he doesn’t fear the dentist which I hope just encourages good hygeine for him later in life. I hate the dentist and always have. He’ll probably hate them if he needs braces which me and his dad wore. I hate the dentist because of this:

If that does not instill fear in even the strong hearted, I dont know what will.

I’m going to get started on some of the drafts for the great suggestions you all left me. Until then…

Dont forget about ARK Sunday! Are you being nice out there?? Tell me about it!





Imagine opening the door to these?

21 09 2007

Growing up, I used to love to dress up for Halloween. I don’t remember it being cold and I think I would have seeing as my dad always had me dress up as a Denver Bronco’s Cheerleader. (and he wonders why I am a Raider fan now) As I got older, I was a french maid for a couple of  years and the last real costume I remember wearing was that of a renaissance girl. Corset, big skirts, flower crown and all. My boobs looked huge that year. I believe I was a senior the last time I really dressed up for Halloween. The Halloween following, I was pregnant and for the first time, wore some kitty cat ears and called it a costume. Those ears and a pair of devil horns have been my costumes every year since. No, I take that back. I had bunny ears one year too. I had that whole “playboy bunny” thing in my head but sweat pants paired with those ears really didn’t cut it. Plus walking around with a miniature spongebob or biker or whatever costume SBJ chose that year really didn’t sell that image.

But guess what kind of options are available for our youth these days?? Ladies, lock up your girls!

whore boots
My favorite thing about this are the boots. Who doesn’t need 8 inch platforms when trick or  treating?

shoes
Great thing is, you can wear these shoes year round! Auntie Em would be so proud!

stripper
Hat, stethoscope, candy-striped dress, apron and petticoat included! Sorry girls, you’ll have to ask mommy if you can borrow her stripper shoes!

paris
Mommy I want to be Paris Hilton for Halloween!!

no words
*rolling on the floor laughing my ass off* If you want to go for the complete dumb-ass outfit, here’s the perfect choice!

Don’t these give you something to look forward to? I seriously found ALL of these in the “teen” section of a costume website. I cant wait to send my future daughter out on the streets in one of these costumes. Instead of candy, she’ll bring home wrinkled $20’s and stains not even a dry cleaner would touch.

During my browsing, I did manage to find the costumes Rura and I will be sporting to my family’s Halloween dinner party this year.

us
Handcuffs are not included. Good thing we have our own.

I actually wouldn’t mind sporting this:
supergirl
Do you think $49.99 is too much for something that will be laying in a heap on the floor after about 20 minutes? Oh and seriously, boots stay ON or OFF?

In case anyone was wondering, I am not the only one getting blog stalked and noticing. Mystery solved? They may not want to sensor us, but they sure are watching what we are up to!! I can only hope that monitoring my blog teaches Big Brother a thing or two about the fine state the blogging community really is.