If I could…

11 10 2007

I hate the dentist. Did I ever mention that? Its no secret that I have exceptionally bad teeth. The amount of dental work I need and cant afford could possibly add up to a nice down payment on a car. It’s something that my dad passed on to me. Well its probably too early to tell, but I may have passed it on to SBJ.

He had to go to the dentist twice this week. He goes back on the 24th. Over the weekend, he was complaining about his tooth bothering him. One of his front molars broke a few weeks back. So the ex took him to the dentist on Tuesday. The diagnoses was not pretty. Cavities galore. He needs a root canal. He needs to have that broken tooth extracted. Call me a bad mom if you will, but this was his first visit to the dentist.

Today he had the tooth extracted. The ex took him again. The report is that he did well for the second time even though they had trouble numbing his mouth. I talked to him for a second and he sounded sad. The ex said he was in pain at the end and that the dentist predicted that he will be in pain later. No soccer practice for him today. I get to take him for this 3rd appointent and I am NOT looking forward to that. I cant handle shots or blood draws, how am I going to do this? I hate seeing my baby in pain.

All this brings me to my purpose for writing. If I had a super power, it would be to take away other people’s pain. With just one hug, I could zap all the pain in SBJ’s mouth and he could get back to playing with his cars. With just one squeeze, I can eliminate the chronic pain that Rura has in his shoulders. Imagine how wonderful it would be to see someone suffering, and just make it go away?

To me, that tops mind reading, being a human sheild, teleporting (with others too), (or both), talking to animalsknowing and understand all languages, knowing where everything is at all times, or even nothing at all! As useful as ALL these superpowers would be, right now, I just want to take away my babies pain.

I’m actually jealous I didnt think of some of those! How helpful would they be to us moms?

Can you tell this was a fantastic writing challenge, given by a fantastic writer? Thanks Moo’s Moo! If you are interested in joining in these challenges, you can do so here, or here.

An open letter to me

26 09 2007

Dear High School Freshman Me,

Guess what? Life as you know it is about to change. Every choice you make from here on out in 1996 will inevitably change the world as you know it today in 2007. Pretty crazy huh? I can say this because anything before high school will not impact your life today. So I hope you had fun doing insignificant things because this is the time that it gets ugly. Oh yea it does. You thought that fight with your best friend in 8th grade that lasted 3 months was bad? Pshhh that’s nothing compared to the next 10 years sister.

So guess what? You meet a guy. He’s not a nice guy. He makes jokes at other people’s expense and the sick thing is, that is what attracts you to him. His sense of humor. You just don’t realize what a bastard he is until much much later. In fact, you marry this asshole. But only because you let him knock you up, so that’s ok.

I should tell you now to get away from this guy. I should tell you now that as time goes on, he will slowly start testing your boundaries. He’ll pinch your legs under the table and squeeze your hands to get you to shut up. He’ll start asking for money even though he has a job. He’ll eventually start hitting you, but never hard enough to leave a bruise. He’ll master this subtle head shake when he wants you to speak for him in response to someone else. You’ll end up scared to death of him. You actually think death is a better option than him. But just wait it out. Make those same choices. Because guess what?

He will give you one thing. One thing that is the most important thing he has ever given you in your entire relationship. He’ll give you a beautiful son. And lord, is that child beautiful. You will cry just looking at him because he takes your breath away. Because you will choose to stay with him, you will meet some of your best friends. In fact, you’ll meet a lot of really cool people along the way. Because you choose to stay with him, it is then, at your lowest point, when you have become numb and shut yourself completely off, that you will meet the love of your life. This is where it gets better.

So you see, all the bullshit turns into something great. I promise. Right now, its great. 10 years from now? Well I guess we’ll just cross that bridge when we get to it.

A few things that I do want to tell you that will make you feel better now? Don’t let the asshole take you from your family. He’s selfish like that and you will hate yourself for it now. Oh and spend a LOT more time with your grandma before she passes. You WILL regret that lost time more than you know. In general, stay close to your family. You don’t understand how badly you will need them later. But lucky for you, they will always love you and are always there for you. Just don’t ignore them so you wont have to realize that now.

Other than that, keep doin what you’re doing. You have great hair throughout high school and your body is smokin. Show it off and don’t wait until your senior year to realize that. Once that baby comes, it will never be the same. One more thing! Do a better job moving out of your parents because you suck at it the first time and now I cant find anything important from that time in our life! Dumb ass. *muah!*

2007, in love, healthy, and happy You

Thank you Amy for this great challenge! You rock! You know I got some linky love so check out these other fine bloggers writing letters to their younger selves!

Tomorrow I am participating in this. PLEASE, if you only click on one link in this post, pick that one. Bloggers Against Abuse. The beauty and power of this is that you can choose to blog against any form of abuse. I’ll be blogging, will you?

Shhh! Dont tell anyone this but…

13 09 2007

I’m lazy.

There. I said it. Thats my big secret. I am a lazy person. I want to be good. I want to do better. I’m just too lazy to try. I have been trying to write this entry for the last 45 minutes, but I got distracted downloading old music for my Ipod. I think that I have become even more lazy since I am living with my parents. I don’t really do much here, except for keeping my room clean and picking up after SBJ when he is with me. Every time I go to clean up our bathroom, or do our dishes, my mom has already done them. It’s like she is contributing to my laziness. (haha yea right)

I don’t know what it is that makes me like this. I don’t mind doing things or going out, but I would much rather stay at home and do nothing. Sitting on the couch, watching a movie with Rura; thats my idea of a perfect Sunday.

I am so lazy that I would rather sleep an extra 10 minutes then put make up on in the morning before work. I dont have one of those faces that needs makeup, but it does make me look better. I just dont want to take the time to do it.

I am so lazy that I usually dont bother changing clothes (other than my jeans) before I go to bed.

I am so lazy that I dont wash and style my hair every day for work. If I wear it down on Monday, on Tuesday its in a pony tail, unwashed. I take showers, I just dont wash my hair because that means I can sleep an extra 10 minutes in the morning. Another lazy thing I do in the shower is combine my shampoo and conditioner in my hand so that I dont have to do two steps.

There are so many things I put off because I am lazy. I wish that I could share them all with you but… you guessed it. I’m too lazy to do that.

I actually gave out this writing challenge and it took me forever to think of something. There are lots of other bloggers out there with secrets too, so check them out.  *phew* That’s a lot of linking. Now I’m going to go eat pie.

Not at all like a mommy…

29 08 2007

Thanks to CrystalSnow for the challenge!

 I’m not too proud of the “least mommy-like” thing that I have done this week. Every day being a mom comes the opportunity to not act like one. But usually we make our choices wisely and do the right thing for our kids. On Saturday, I chose not to.

Saturday was SBJ’s first soccer game of this season and also his opening ceremonies. I went to the game in the morning and that was fine. It was heating up quickly but by the time the game ended, it was starting to get hot. His team, The Sharks, lost their game 1-0. He had fun playing even with his dad singleing him out and screaming at him the entire game. (Dont get me started, DO. NOT.) He was supposed to go with me that day because we had a birthday party for my cousin (which includes swimming) and a football game that Rura was playing in that night. This would mean him missing the ceremony which parades all the teams around and hosts a collection of booths that all the teams have the option of setting up. At first he didn’t mind missing it, but somewhere along the line, he changed his mind.

He threw a fit to stay for the ceremony and psudeo-carnival. I really didn’t want to argue as the heat was getting to me and I was already feeling like I was running out of time to get where I needed to be. I was all set to let him stay with his dad when he dropped a bomb.

“Mom, why dont you want to stay for my ceremony?”

Every year he has played soccer (3 so far) I have walked with his team. How do you explain to your son that you dont want to stay for his ceremony because you cant stand the thought of being near his father for more than an hour? How do you justify that to a six year old? How do you justify it to yourself? Because to me, it sounds really selfish. Why cant we just put our differences aside for once and exist for our son? Here’s the thing. I can. The ex? Not so much. It will turn into a day of being guilt tripped and ridiculed and just no fun over all. So I chose to let him stay with his dad, and I went on my way.

It was so not “mommy-like” to do that. It was selfish. But when I asked SBJ the next day if he missed me, he said “No. It was boring anyways.” So there. I know I made the right choice because had I stayed, the day would not have been just “boring” but also hard because he would have had to endure his mom and dad bickering all day. And that is what I wanted to avoid.

There are more moms out there doing things that aren’t very “mommy-like”. Check them out here, here, here, here, and here. And guess what, they aren’t all naughty like me!